Good Grief! It’s UNIVERSAL!
So, all those who know me, know this: I am transparent. What you see is what you get. I forget, too often, to “hold my cards close to my chest,” and I make myself vulnerable to attack.
And I guess that I thought I was unique in some way. Like I got picked on, scorned, slandered more than the average gal. I’m pretty sure, now, that I’m wrong.
And here’s why:
My transparency has been giving other women the confidence to confess their pain to me, in turn. And guess what. Every woman feels this way, from the quietest, most conservative, to the loudest, most liberal, it seems that we ALL GOT HATERS.
A hater’s gonna hate. And guess what. They’re not just gonna hate one person, ’cause hating is what they do.
Being abused by family members, friends, acquaintances and random strangers is inevitable.
The question is: What are we gonna do with this?
I can’t speak for you, but I have some ideas of what I need to do.
- Be better, not bitter. Learn from the pain.
- Do not judge or hate in return. It will just trap me in their web of negativity.
- Be the BITCH. I won’t cower in fear of their opinions.
- Be the SAINT. Love and accept others, no matter what I think of their beliefs, words, or actions. (I can think of a few people that make this IMPOSSIBLE in my own strength. That is why I need to be the SAINT, because loving some people can only be done from my knees, begging YHWH for the ability to forgive.) Love breeds love, and changes the community at large.
- Don’t read the tabloids on my way out of the grocery store. (I learned this from an article about Angelina Jolie. She told an interviewer that, to cope with the gossip surrounding her family, and to guard her children, “We don’t stand in the checkout line at the grocery store looking at the magazines. Our friends don’t tell us about it. And our kids don’t know. I feel if we keep looking out for them, they’ll be fine. ”) For me, this means not listening to, or exposing my kids to the gossip about myself, or others.
- Shut the door. Purposely telling a known gossip anything about my life or beliefs, or giving them access to my children and other means of learning my business is like giving a kleptomaniac a key to my house. Sweet, but STUPID. (Obviously, this is impossible to carry out completely, in our information age, but we can take steps to limit it.)
- Put my game face on. Haters are like sharks. If they smell blood in the water, they attack.
There’s a start. I am sure I need more ideas. Help me out, readers: How do YOU deal with haters?